breathe underwater
Breathe Underwater was a dream implanted into my heart when my name was “mommy” and naptime​ ​was my lifeline. Despite years of faithful investment in church and ministry, I was stuck in a cycle of​ ​following formulas and performing for praise. I longed to experience the love and grace of God, but still​ ​found myself drowning in a sea of self-sufficiency. God interrupted that strangled struggle by​ ​penetrating my heart with an offer of something more and better. It was only a whisper, but it was​ ​glorious. It was a sacred moment in which I knew that He saw me, loved me, and accepted me. Just one​ ​encounter with Him, one sip of His life-giving grace, and I was hooked, completely lovestruck.
While pondering the wonder of my relief, I realized the magnitude of what I’d missed. Somehow, in all​ ​my years of Christian living, I’d overlooked the true gospel of grace and grabbed onto a false narrative,​ ​the gospel of works instead. I wondered if perhaps you had missed it too. And thus, the dream was born.​ One day, I would tell my story and testify of the good grace of God.
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What followed wasn’t the writing of a manuscript, a publishing contract, or a book tour but a long and​ ​complicated journey of heartache and healing. Unbeknownst to me, my road of discovery had only just​ ​begun. The next several years were spent trudging through the valley of the shadow of death while​ ​learning to hear Him, believe Him, and follow Him. My world was shattering while my soul was​ ​mending. I was losing ground circumstantially while making headway spiritually. All the while, I was​ ​capturing my darkest hours and sweetest victories on receipts, napkins, and church bulletins because the​ ​dream was still alive. One day, I would tell my story of God’s great and gracious rescue of my heart.
Fifteen years later, here it is; my account of the grace that is available in the suspense-filled moments of our lives; of the love that upholds us in the meantime. Because there is a God who loves sinners, who reveals Himself to outcasts, who provides abundance in times of famine, and who welcomes all who are thirsty to take a taste of His paradigm-shifting, soul-changing love.
My desire is that you would use this book as a tool. Perhaps it will provoke thought and motivate you to investigate the ideas presented. Maybe, it will provide you with a safe place to process your own story. And quite possibly, it could give you a platform to encourage others through a discussion group. Wherever you find yourself and whatever your needs happen to be, I pray you would drink it in deeply, my friends, and draw ever closer to the heart of God.
With Love,
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janalee